The Day Mary Kate Olsen Attacked By Fish

On Friday night, we were celebrating a friend’s birthday with dinner at a West Hollywood eatery.

Sometime around 11pm, a waify blonde and an only slightly less waify brunette sat in the booth behind us. By now the restaurant was fairly empty, and not much fuss was made because the blonde was an Olsen, of the Mary Kate variety.

(Note: An older frumpy lady at an adjacent table “peeped” in the most conspicuous manner possible by hiding behind a pillar and craning her neck to fully experience what was probably her first celebrity sighting. This is unacceptable behavior.)

Although somewhat intrigued by the presence of fashion’s proprietor of modern grunge, we were engrossed in our own conversation. Our conversations tend to run the gamut, and in addition to your typical girly topics such as fashion, nightlife, dating status reports and our new Star Trek heartthrob (Spock, not Kirk), we are apt to cover a number of obscure topics.

Tonight, we were discussing psychology – in particular, Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Sociopathy. We were startled when Mary Kate slammed her fists into her table and yelled “SOCIOPATH!!!” (hey, we were discussing personality disorders, not Tourette’s), not to mention weirded out that she had been eavesdropping on our conversation.

Somewhere around dessert, one of us glanced down at her leg, only to see a piece of wet sludge slide down her calf. Closer examination revealed that it was a piece of salmon. We scanned the room to determine the origins of the fish, but only we, Mary Kate and her brunette friend were sitting on that half of the restaurant (frumpy peeper and co. had since vacated).

Not wanting to make a scene, we explained the situation to our server, who confirmed that not only did Mary Kate order the salmon, she’s well known in the food & beverage industry for her food-pelting behavior. The rest of our meal would have been incredibly awkward if she hadn’t scurried out of the restaurant (in house slippers), giggling with her friend about being “so high!” (I’m pretty sure it’s not the type of high that gives you munchies)




So, what to take away from this experience?